ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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