Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
