I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
