Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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