is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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