dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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