Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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