We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
