i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
