please come you make the beer taste better
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
