I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
