i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
