cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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