there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
