i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
