I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
