Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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