I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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