I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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