I'm drive I can fine osifer
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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