I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
