so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
