Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
