Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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