If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She announced her abortion via fbk
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
