Ambien. No doubt about it.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
