These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
