I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
