Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i will never coherently bang her
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
