what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
