is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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