dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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