She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I love you.
Bad choice
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