would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
