Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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