i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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