how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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