In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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