Soap is not a condiment
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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