I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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