i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
