But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
