Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
