its not stalking. its research.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
