I looked at my own cervix.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
