Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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