im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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