My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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