so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
