Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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