Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
