Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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