so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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