Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
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