hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
