So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
