farters have to be the big spoon...
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
