we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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